Through the best of times and ideally through the worst of times, there are people in our lives who we can count on for support, an open mind, and a caring nurturing way of being – who sometimes feel like they are more family than our own blood relatives – our friends.
At the same time I have seen the reality that relationships can change dramatically over time.
After high school and into University, although I made many friendships while some old ones dissolved, my dream social life continued up until my 3rd year, when most of us became more serious about having to face the idea of what type of ‘career’ we would pursue when we completed school for the first time in our lives within 1 or two years.
Life began to change – not just for me, but for everyone I knew. Friends moved to different cities, different countries, began having families and of course priorities changed. This was and is the natural flow of life and of the rhythm of being human; it is also the law of attraction.
As a giver who is awakening who is now looking for respect, care, a helping ear from the receiving ‘friends’, it is becoming very obvious and common that those ‘friends’ – the ‘receivers’, are not willing, not interested, or do not have the drive to do so. This results in the ‘givers’ feeling a rift with these ‘friends’ and a ‘parting of ways’ or the connection dissolving.
Some of the indicators or potential flags that show that you might be in this type of conditional ‘giver’ and ‘receiver’ relationship vs an authentic unconditional friendship include the receivers saying or showing:
(ironically, when THEY NEED you, they will take time away from their family to get your help for themselves)
-You will hear from them when THEY want to speak with you, rather than when you contact them
These indicators are more common that one would think and it is important to acknowledge that these are potential signs that the ‘friendship’ is likely not mutual and that conversations need to be had to sort it out or to just let them go.
Five Powerful Elements to Consider About Friendships:
- True friendship is about mutual exchange and respect of each other – giving to each other, supporting each other, and growing together – with no excuses.
- To experience and attract true friendships – that include respecting you, who you are, and your opinion about life – YOU must respect you, who you are, and your own opinion about life and not accept friendships that will do anything less.
- To develop a true friendship, rather than a 50/50 inauthentic connection, giving unconditionally is a must. This is different from giving and then expecting the other to give back, which would constitute a conditional ‘friendship’.
- It is important to be at peace with being on your own and without friendships. This will be far more useful than having ‘one-sided friendships’ that you give your power and energy away to. Although at the same time, be open to the fact that new ones will come in.
- Be compassionate and give your ‘friends’ A second chance… not 5 second chances, not 10 second chances, A second chance… a chance to show that they are also willing to and interested in supporting, giving to, and growing the friendship.
If you are reading this and realizing that you are more of a ‘receiver’, and YOU are awakening as well, consider this an opportunity to reconnect with those ‘givers’ who have likely been giving all along.
Show your gratitude to them – call them, tell them how important they are to you because of who they are (not because they give to you and you still need them). More importantly – be committed to the connection and to growing it, respecting them and being a part of a true friendship in giving and/or supporting them on the few occasions they call out to you for help.
As some of the old ‘friendship’ doors close, many new wondrous ones are about to open!